For a couple of days I have been considering Lj...
Last night I was writing in MJ's and Lj's baby book and looking at the photos I had stuck in. I found myself more nostalgic over the photos of MJ when he was little ie. our holiday in Cornwall, his summer hat I made him and the places it went etc...we just seemed to have fun!
Lj is a very capable and determined little girl, she learns things easily and is often happy playing by herself. However I find her hard to discipline as she is not repentant like MJ and I get frustrated, loose my patience and find myself yelling at her to try and break her will. Often unsuccessfully.
Yesterday at Hatfield Forest with friends MJ ran off and we couldn't find him. Thankfully my friends son who is 12 was able to sprint off in the direction he had headed and eventually found him. I went a different direction and told Lj to stay with my friend. When I saw MJ coming back with Isaac I was making my way towards them, considering how to discipline him, holding Lj's hand when Lj broke down and cried 'Mummy, you are not listening to me', she was properly distressed so we had a long cuddle just there on the boardwalk.
These things and others are making me think that I need to change my way with her. That perhaps her naughtiness is a reflection of my mothering.
I know that I put off doing things or going on trips if MJ is
at school and not able to come with us. I convince myself that there is
no point doing it, such as swimming if MJ is not there. So we wait til he is free and then go away for the day, or go swimming all together.
Because of her capabilities and the fact I now have 2, sometimes 3, sometimes more kids to keep an eye on I expect a lot of her and am not patient if she is simply being a 2yo.
My thoughts continue but today as I'm not looking after my niece I decided that Lj and I were going to have some fun and create some mum/daughter special memories.
We had fun riding to toddlers on my bike, Lj telling me to go faster as we speeded downhill or laughing as we went over the speed bumps.
We stopped at the park on the way home because she wanted too and I stopped myself trying to tell her we needed to get back home for lunch...who cares if we had lunch 20mins later!
We made muffins and I tried to refrain from telling her a million times to watch as she stirred, not to spill the mixture.
I let her do the washing up and rolled up her sleeves, secretly (not verbally) whispering ' please don't get soaked...or break anything'!
And now...now she is fast asleep on the sofa and I'm planning more 1:1 activities that I can do with my precious daughter.