As I look back over the past few blog posts, where we were preparing to leave Bishop's Stortford, I'm struggling to process and define my thoughts and feelings. Life here, two months in, seems so normal, like it has always been this way and yet there is this other part of our lives (previous life) which is not closed off. The friendships are still there, the memories are still there and life there is going on without us. Is this a little snippet of what mourning feels like? I've noticed that M and I both feel the need to tell new people that we meet that 'we have just moved here', even if it is not really necessary for them to know it. How long will we do this? How long will we feel 'new'? This is the place where I grew up and spent 18 years. So much of the towns, people and church life is familiar, but I'm not that teenager, desperate to blaze my own trail and establish my own self. I'm married, with 3 children and yet am I really that different? I'm still wondering who I am, what makes me tick and what it is I want to do with my future!
Phew, I think I need to grab my notebook and have a bath to try and process these thoughts before I embark on sharing the happenings of the past two months!